The Greatest Team Fortress 2 Fanfiction
by Hunter the Pyro
Summary: Sometimes, good isn't enough. Spy visits the controversial space battlefield rd asteroid to truly test his skills against the harsh environments. Trigger warning, 18 , OC, knives, Stout Shako, [Monstercat Exclusive], -80% Off, character death, Featuring LazyPurple's Comment Page and Danyka Nadeau, VIP, HL3 leak, free weekend, and heavy gun use implication (deadmau5 remix)


What you are about to read is a powerful story of love, loss, intense action, and very deep moments. If you cannot handle it, please leave to go find some Mountain Dew and/or Doritos and restock your Dank meter. Once properly prepared you may continue. Of course, I'm far too busy with life, working on animations in SFM, and writing the stories I've had to painstakingly rewrite after my iPhone crash, so I did not write it. This story has been typed by my good friend, the RED Pyro, with gloves and mask on, and the guy who made the comment that LazyPurple made an SFM out of. If there are any grammatical or spelling errors just let me know.

This story is 90% true.

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 **teh bestest storie of tf2 ever feeturing spy de sexy jukes n trickstab man**

spy went to rd_astroid 1 day to practice his sexy jukes n trikstabs. wen he got there, engie and engie were at teh core wit mini sentrys. alredy he new he wus on the rong teem, but he decideded to play anyway.

"Mission begins in 30 seconds," nomattur how dank a stori es, teh admininstrator alweyz soundz norml bcuz she is spooky scari. spy wus at de gate when he saw scootibooti there. 'ey sphii' teh scoot sed. 'do u wanna bui dis shitty knif?' spi lukd at de nife and saw it wus an eeturnl riwurd. 'sorry scoot but i hav my own etrnal rewward' spi sed, nd showed scoot his supr sexi nife. it wus speshulizd killstrek wit green shini stuffs, n stuffs, nd scoot sed 'okey' nd was sad. but he wus ok aftr. but spi didnt want to rek de enemi 2 hard so he wus just uzing de norml kniff until he cud buy a streng nife. then he wud hav 2 of the sexiezt nifes in de game as strang.

if any1 says othurwiz ill gut u wit my real lif karambit fade i rentid from lex jk.

spi wus at astroid becuz he was good at spi, but not enuff for him 2 b one of de greatz. but he wantd 2 B the berry bezt so he wus here bcuz he never wnt on de map sinc the damn beta cam out. "You must destroy the enemy's robots and take their cores. You can also take the enemy's reactor and steal their core," de spooki adminstratr sed. spi also lernd hallween modd wus on bcuz it wus full moon. evn tho he wus in spaec. "Mission begins in 10 seconds... 5, 4, 3, 3," dam, lag, "2, 1..."

"FREEDOOOM!" RED Demonstrations black screams, and runned out from the base. His exploder shot and killed a BLU Scout, usually fast but here not fast. He turneded and swing his drinking glass at not invisible BLU Spy, who was about to shot RED Heavy! "Thanking you," Heavy says, and Demonstrations black noddeds to him as Scotland music playing from the heavens! He jumps off the cliff to land on metal bridge below, but BLU Pyro, with fire, burns Demonstrations black and makes him charge away into tunnel!

RED Spy uses invisible Rollex, and disguisinged himself as the BLU Building Texas Engineer with robo-hand, and slips by the shooting battlefield into BLU base! Frenchman Spy hears beep beep of sentry, and uses his Spy skills to locate it on the base floor above! Not knowing rd_asteroid, Spy locates stairs, and finds a narrow ramp to walk up to top floor. BLU Engineer does not pay attention, too busy with his Healing Dispenser, when Spy stabs him dead from the back! Sentry beeps and turns around, but Spy knows and saps the machine as it explods into pieces! "SPY!" Slodier, the exploder with rockets, yells as he sees Spy do this. Spy quickly invisibles and runs away as the rocketing man jumps high onto next floor to find him. Remembering a video from the YouTube, Spy hides behind the corner, visible, and by hearing Slodier's steps runs around the outside of it, and does successful tricking stab of the Spies!

"Oh mai gawd I did it," Spy says, not having done of of those tricking stabs as easily as he did then. Feeling the power of a thousand Stabbystabby's, Spy disguising himself with cigar book and goes deeper into the base.

spi findz a robot wit blue shiny stuf on it. 'wait how do i kil it' spi seys, but sees smaller robots belo wer he wus and kills them. den the shiny ones wernt shiny and hes abot 2 kil them bt blu teem wus near so he cloked. piro walkd by and bumpd into spi nd sturted shotinng fir at spi, hoo jumped in watr. piro jumpd in after him but spi didnt swim away, instead stayd under piro. when he jumpd in watr spi wus behind hm and stabd him just as he turnd. spi disgised as a engi agan and snuk in2 react cor. de cor wus spinng lik a breefcas so spi grabd it and ran.

'guys th spi has or cor' scoot seys as spi runs by. spi get shot at but spi suddnly baks up as scoot runs by an stabz him b4 scoot can turn arond. 'woah i did anoder trikstab' spi sas as he runs owtsid. ther wernt meny ppl outside so spi ran ahed as he saw engi sittin in hiz char on a pip. 'howdy spi' engi ses as spi ses hi back and runs in bas.

Insided the friendly base, Spying man runs inside, when suddenly, the Australian Longshooting man on RED shoots him, and is actually enemy Spy! Spy grabs healing bar and shoots back, before running up the ramp to the toppest floor. Enemy Spy follows, but yells as Spy jumps over him and does a stair stabbing! "Ermagad," Spy says, "I didid it again!" Spy runs through the lasers of deadly killing, and putting the core on the win point! The game was been won, and Spy top scores the board of scores!

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This next chapter, sadly, lacks the LazyPurple commenter, as he has recently died in a fire caused by an IBM computer. The Mountain Dew will be needed here as this chapter deals with heavy loss.

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spi wus redy 4 next rond wen he saw anodr spi. othr spi lukd gud at th gam bcuz he had lime spi set wit fedora. spi tipped his fedor and other spi tipped bak nd youforia wus acheevd as de spis becam bestest frands. 'were bestest frend 4 round ok' othr spi sed and spi agred. dey were 3sexy4scrubz. spi offrd rps and othr spi agreed n spi won wit rok. othr spi wus ok with it tho bcuz they wer kool.

da rownd startid nd both spis went 2 tunnls dizgused as diffrnt enginrs. blu teem had a lot uf enginers. oder spi stabd pyro nd clokd as blue scoot saw nd shotted at him. spi ran in frunt uf scoot nd trikstabd him. 'omg dud u trikstebd him' othr spi sed but spi sed 'dud were spis we have to tak frnch.' othr spi sed 'oh ye' and sed 'baguet.' spi sed baguett bak nd they snuk in2 base inb4 anothr piro saw thm both.

'hudda hudda spi hudda' piro sed n shot fir at spis. spoo trikstebd piro but too lat bcuz piro got othr spi n he ded. 'oh no othr spi is ded' spi sed n wus sad. sad moosic pleys wil spi moveses on frm loss but he wus kk later bcuz othr spi respwnd. spi got de cor again n spi won again the end rip in ebola blu teem.

 _10/10 "eh, it's ok." - TF2 Player; ~3,500 hours_


End file.
